Iyanla Vanzant on Why You Need to Learn to Trust Yourself | SuperSoul Sunday | Oprah Winfrey Network - YouTube
Trust: Mastering The Four Essential Trusts: Trust In Self, Trust In God, Trust In Others, Trust In Life
Trust is one of the most important and challenging aspects of life. It affects our relationships, our happiness, our success, and our well-being. But what is trust and how can we master it?
Trust: Mastering The Four Essential Trusts: Trust In Self, Trust In God, Trust In Others, Trust In L
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In this article, we'll explore the topic of trust based on the book by Iyanla Vanzant, a renowned spiritual teacher and author who has written several best-selling books on personal growth and healing. Her book, Trust: Mastering The Four Essential Trusts: Trust In Self, Trust In God, Trust In Others, Trust In Life, is a comprehensive and inspiring guide on how to cultivate trust in different areas of life. She shares her wisdom and stories on how to overcome trust issues and betrayal, and how to develop the four essential trusts that are vital for our survival and happiness.
What is trust and why is it important?
Trust is a noun, not a verb. It is not something that we do, but something that we have. Trust is a feeling of confidence, security, and faith in ourselves, others, God, and life. Trust is also a choice, a decision, and a commitment that we make every day.
Trust is important because it allows us to grow, heal, and thrive. When we trust ourselves, we can access our inner wisdom and power. When we trust God, we can align with our divine purpose and guidance. When we trust others, we can build healthy and supportive relationships. When we trust life, we can embrace uncertainty and change with grace and optimism.
However, trust is not easy to achieve or maintain. We often face situations and experiences that challenge our trust or violate it. We may struggle with trust issues or suffer from betrayal. We may lose trust in ourselves, others, God, or life. We may feel hurt, angry, fearful, or hopeless.
How can we restore our trust and heal from our wounds? How can we master the four essential trusts that are necessary for our well-being?
The four essential trusts
Iyanla Vanzant identifies four types of trust that are essential for our survival and happiness. These are:
Trust in self
Trust in God
Trust in others
Trust in life
These four trusts are interrelated and interdependent. They influence each other and affect our overall level of trust. They also require both a process and a practice. The process is the life experiences that teach us about trust. The practice is the daily actions that help us cultivate trust.
Let's take a closer look at each of these four trusts and how to develop them.
Trust in self
Trust in self is the foundation of all other trusts. It is the ability to believe in ourselves, our abilities, our choices, and our worthiness. It is the confidence to follow our intuition, express our truth, and honor our needs. It is the respect for our boundaries, values, and goals.
Trust in self is not arrogance, egoism, or perfectionism. It is not about being right or better than others. It is about being authentic, honest, and accountable to ourselves.
To develop trust in self, we need to:
Acknowledge and accept ourselves as we are, with our strengths and weaknesses
Affirm ourselves with positive and empowering statements
Care for ourselves physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually
Compassionately forgive ourselves for our mistakes and failures
Challenge ourselves to grow and learn from our experiences
Celebrate ourselves for our achievements and successes
Trust in God
Trust in God is the source of all other trusts. It is the ability to believe in a higher power, a divine intelligence, a universal force that guides and supports us. It is the faith that there is a purpose and meaning behind everything that happens in our lives. It is the gratitude for the blessings and opportunities that we receive.
Trust in God is not dogmatism, fanaticism, or superstition. It is not about following rules or rituals blindly or fearing punishment or judgment. It is about connecting with love, wisdom, and grace.
To develop trust in God, we need to:
Acknowledge and appreciate God's presence and gifts in our lives
Pray to God regularly with sincerity and humility
Meditate on God's words and messages with openness and curiosity
Trust God's plan and timing for our lives with patience and surrender
Trust in others
Trust in others is the bridge of all other trusts. It is the ability to believe in other people, their intentions, their words, and their actions. It is the confidence to share our thoughts, feelings, and needs with others. It is the respect for their boundaries, values, and goals.
Trust in others is not naivety, dependency, or codependency. It is not about expecting others to fulfill our needs or desires or agreeing with everything they say or do. It is about establishing healthy and supportive relationships.
To develop trust in others, we need to:
Acknowledge and appreciate others for who they are, with their strengths and weaknesses
Communicate with others clearly and respectfully
Listen to others attentively and empathetically
Forgive others compassionately for their mistakes and failures
Support others generously with our time and resources
Honor others' choices and preferences
Trust in life
Trust in life is the result of all other trusts. It is the ability to believe in life, its challenges, its opportunities, and its surprises. It is the confidence to face uncertainty and change with courage and optimism. It is the respect for life's lessons and gifts.
Trust in life is not fatalism, passivity, or complacency. It is not about giving up on our dreams or goals or settling for less than we deserve. It is about embracing life's diversity and complexity.
To develop trust in life, we need to:
Acknowledge and accept life as it is, with its ups and downs
Adapt to life's changes with flexibility and creativity
Learn from life's experiences with curiosity and humility
Surrender to life's flow with ease and grace
Enjoy life's moments with joy and gratitude
Create life's opportunities with passion and purpose
How to master the four essential trusts
Iyanla Vanzant offers a wealth of practical steps and exercises that can help us master the four essential trusts in her book. She also shares her own stories and examples of how she applied these steps and exercises in her own life. Here are some of the steps and exercises that she suggests for each type of trust:
Trust in self
Some of the steps and exercises that can help us master trust in self are:
Create a personal mission statement that reflects our values, vision, and goals
Write a list of our strengths, talents, skills, and achievements
Write a list of our fears, worries, or challenges that prevent us from living our best life
Write a list of our opportunities, possibilities, or solutions that enable us to live our best life
Write a letter of forgiveness to life for any past or present disappointment or frustration
Write a letter of appreciation to life for any past or present joy or fulfillment
Practice daily adaptation that helps us cope with change and uncertainty
Practice daily learning that helps us grow and improve from our experiences
Practice daily surrender that helps us let go of control and trust life's flow
Practice daily enjoyment that helps us savor and appreciate life's moments
How to overcome trust issues and heal from betrayal
Trust issues and betrayal are common and painful experiences that can affect our trust in ourselves, others, God, and life. They can also have negative consequences for our health, happiness, and well-being. How can we overcome trust issues and heal from betrayal?
In her book, Iyanla Vanzant discusses some of the common causes and effects of trust issues and betrayal. She also offers some solutions and strategies for healing from them. Here are some of the points that she covers:
The signs and symptoms of trust issues
Trust issues are the feelings and behaviors that indicate that we have difficulty trusting ourselves, others, God, or life. Some of the signs and symptoms of trust issues are:
Fear of being hurt, rejected, abandoned, or betrayed by others
Anxiety about the future, the unknown, or the unexpected
Isolation from others or avoidance of intimacy or commitment
Suspicion or paranoia about others' motives or actions
Jealousy or insecurity about others' success or happiness
Criticism or judgment of ourselves or others
Lack of self-esteem or self-confidence
Lack of faith or hope in ourselves, others, God, or life
The sources and triggers of betrayal
Betrayal is the act or feeling of being deceived, violated, or harmed by someone or something that we trusted. Some of the sources and triggers of betrayal are:
Infidelity or disloyalty from others such as cheating, breaking promises, etc.
Abuse or violence from others such as physical, emotional, sexual, etc.
Neglect or abandonment from others such as ignoring, rejecting, leaving, etc.
Disappointment or frustration from ourselves such as failing, giving up, etc.
Disappointment or frustration from God such as unanswered prayers, unfulfilled desires, etc.
Disappointment or frustration from life such as unexpected events, unwanted outcomes, etc.
The consequences and challenges of betrayal
Betrayal can have serious and lasting consequences and challenges for our trust and well-being. Some of the consequences and challenges of betrayal are:
Pain or suffering from the loss or damage of trust
Anger or resentment from the injustice or unfairness of betrayal
Guilt or shame from the responsibility or blame of betrayal
Grief or sadness from the mourning or letting go of trust
Depression or hopelessness from the emptiness or meaninglessness of trust
Anxiety or stress from the uncertainty or instability of trust
Trauma or PTSD from the shock or intensity of betrayal
Addiction or coping mechanisms from the escape or relief of betrayal
The solutions and strategies for healing from betrayal
Healing from betrayal is possible and necessary for restoring our trust and well-being. It is a process that requires time, patience, and effort. It is also a practice that requires awareness, intention, and action. Some of the solutions and strategies for healing from betrayal are:
Therapy or counseling from a professional who can help us understand and process our feelings and thoughts
Support groups or communities from people who can relate to and empathize with our experiences
Forgiveness or release from ourselves and others who have betrayed or been betrayed by us
Self-care or self-love from ourselves that can help us nurture and replenish our energy and vitality
Trust-building or trust-restoring from ourselves and others that can help us rebuild and restore our trust gradually and cautiously
Personal growth or transformation from ourselves that can help us learn and grow from our betrayal and use it as a catalyst for positive change
Conclusion
Trust is one of the most essential and challenging aspects of life. It affects our relationships, our happiness, our success, and our well-being. To master trust, we need to develop the four essential trusts: trust in self, trust in God, trust in others, and trust in life. These four trusts are interrelated and interdependent. They require both a process and a practice.
In her book, Trust: Mastering The Four Essential Trusts: Trust In Self, Trust In God, Trust In Others, Trust In Life, Iyanla Vanzant offers a comprehensive and inspiring guide on how to cultivate trust in different areas of life. She shares her wisdom and stories on how to overcome trust issues and betrayal, and how to develop the four essential trusts that are vital for our survival and happiness.
If you want to learn more about trust and how to master it, I highly recommend you to read her book. You can also visit her website or follow her on social media for more resources and inspiration.
Trust is not easy, but it is possible and necessary. Trust is a choice, a decision, and a commitment that we make every day. Trust is a gift that we give to ourselves, others, God, and life. Trust is the key to our growth and healing.
So, what are you waiting for? Start trusting today!
FAQs
Here are some frequently asked questions about the topic of trust:
What are some signs that someone is trustworthy?
Some signs that someone is trustworthy are:
They are honest and transparent with their words and actions
They are consistent and reliable with their promises and commitments
They are respectful and supportive of your boundaries, values, and goals
They are empathetic and compassionate of your feelings and needs
They are accountable and responsible for their mistakes and failures
What are some ways to rebuild trust after betrayal?
Some ways to rebuild trust after betrayal are:
Seek professional help or support from others who can help you heal and cope
Decide whether you want to stay or leave the relationship that betrayed you
Set clear and realistic expectations and boundaries for the relationship that betrayed you
Monitor and evaluate the progress and behavior of the person who betrayed you
Forgive yourself and the person who betrayed you when you are ready
What are some benefits of trusting yourself?
Some benefits of trusting yourself are:
You can access your inner wisdom and power
You can follow your intuition and express your truth
You can honor your needs and desires
You can achieve your goals and dreams
You can boost your self-esteem and self-confidence
What are some challenges of trusting God?
Some challenges of trusting God are:
You may have doubts or questions about God's existence or nature
You may have fears or concerns about God's will or plan for your life
You may have anger or resentment towards God for allowing pain or suffering in your life
You may have difficulty hearing or understanding God's voice or messages
You may have conflicts or disagreements with other people's beliefs or interpretations of God
What are some tips for trusting life?
Some tips for trusting life are:
Adapt to life's changes with flexibility and creativity
Learn from life's experiences with curiosity and humility
Surrender to life's flow with ease and grace
Enjoy life's moments with joy and gratitude
Create life's opportunities with passion and purpose
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